Yet another post at 2-something a.m.

I'm currently reminiscing about the fun times I had with the kids at my last nanny job. I really miss the girls a whole lot, since they spent the most time with me; they're incredibly bright, talented kids with very bright futures. I was the one to quit, and I did it for a lot of reasons. Being a nanny makes it hard to travel because the family depends on you (as they should), and given that I was trying to get through the last month of school made everything extra stressful for me. On my last day, the 8-year-old (Isabel) sat on my lap and hugged me, which nearly drove me to tears in front of her (I managed to hold back my pitiful whimpering until I was driving away).

It's hard to be a big part of someone's life and then cut off contact so abruptly. The guilt that I felt made it ridiculously hard for me to leave them, but it would have been selfish to stay. I have too much going on to commit to a family anymore. It's sad. I was a nanny for four years and it helped me grow up a lot, while retaining playfulness and a sense of humor. All three kids taught me a lot about... well, everything. I feel sad right now. I think I'll contact my ex-boss tomorrow (i.e. today) when I wake up and ask about taking out the kids (although I doubt the 12-year-old boy will want to come with us... he's much too grown up... ha!). I would really hate if I never got to see them again.

This may possibly be the most sentimental I'll get on here. I'm feeling glum because I still don't know when I'll next see my boyfriend.

"Reflections" (a song by Christina Aguilera, heard in the film 'Mulan')

Just kidding, Christina Aguilera has nothing to do with my blog post. Tricked you, didn't I?! Ha! I'm good, I really, really am. Wowee.

I think about my life quite a bit at night; by night, I mean 2am or later. I reflect on things that have happened throughout my twenty-five long years on the planet, thinking about the way things once were at various ages. There are many events that have shaped my being, as cliché as that sounds. I could really get into the details here and spend a good hour mapping out entire memories, but a) that would take a long time, b) some of those memories are unpleasant, and c) nobody wants to read it. That's understandable, because I'm not a very good storyteller, which is just a fact. That's fine with me.

The memory that has been swirling around in my mind (swirling? swishing? spinning tumbling?) took place when I was a mere twelve years of age, i.e. I was impressionable, awkward, and completely pathetic. As I mentioned above, I'm not going to write out the event or even bother talking much about it at all; I just wanted to talk about talking about it to make you curious.

Not really.

I think the only thing truly lacking in my life is a friend with whom I can do crossword puzzles while nursing a cup of coffee (or, in my case, gulping down a huge iced soy latte within a few minutes). Just imagine my friend and I looking sophisticated and intellectual, glasses on and deep in thought.

(please try to ignore the watermark on this photo, as it's not mine and ideally, I will never wear reading glasses.)

There you have it, ladies and gentlemen. I've changed subjects several times and left you with nothing but annoyance with yours truly. If you feel so inclined, send me a gift card for Peet's coffee and a book of crossword puzzles. A snazzy mechanical pencil would be appreciated, as well as any/all of your hard-earned cash. Thank you.

How?

How is it possible for humans over the age of 13 to have trouble differentiating between your, you're, they're, their, and there? Where on earth were all of these people during... oh, I don't know, EVERY ENGLISH CLASS EVER TAKEN DURING ELEMENTARY AND MIDDLE SCHOOL? And what about "Heather and me went to the party" or "Nobody wanted to talk to Heather and I." Really? You really can't see the difference?

Typos are more understandable; everyone is allowed to type poorly when drunk, so I'll let that slide, because I'll just assume that everybody is drunk all the time. Anyhow, there is a grammar demon clawing at my insides, and I get it from my mother, unfortunately. You should see us watch television; we always comment on poor grammar at the same time. I can hear it from across the room, regardless of whether or not I was paying attention to the program in the first place.

For the love of all that is good and holy, please learn these basic grammatical rules. They are so ridiculously simple, and for the sake of retaining my sanity I refuse to believe that so many people are really that stupid. This is in no way a shout-out to myself for being a genius, as I would likely test at an intelligence level only slightly higher than "complete moron." I'm tired, as it's past 3am, and this is the perfect outlet for the grammar nazi inside of me (plus, I don't want to directly hurt anyone's feelings).

And, uh, please don't be offended if you're one of the dolts to whom I'm referring. I'm sure you're a really nice person with other special talents.

Here is something I made a few months ago.

Hello, 2:10am. So we meet again.

I went to see an eye doctor today, which made me nervous because they blow air directly into your eyeball and it's terrifying. I survived and left with a copy of my prescription; I promptly came home and began the hunt for cheap prescription glasses. My last pair of glasses (which are lost and I am heartbroken) were $500. I wish I was joking. This time, I went a little bit more casual, and purchased three pairs of glasses for around fifty bucks. SERIOUSLY. The best part is that they're all ridiculous looking and I have no clue what I'll look like while wearing them.

"Resolutions" (GOALS)

I'm not a fan of New Year's resolutions, because how often does anyone really take them seriously for more than a few weeks? I think New Year's GOALS are more appropriate for me, so I won't feel discouraged if I screw up a little bit. Normally I would update my Day Zero Project list, but the site has been down for a while and I don't want to forget any of this before the site works again. That being said, here are quite a few more goals to add to my list.

1. Limit the amount of money I spend on eating outside of the house, which is usually a LOT. Try to eat out 1x per week, maximum. I know that sounds sort of strict, but I'm not doing well financially, and restaurants drain my bank account!
2. Limit the amount of money I spend on buying coffee outside of the house! No more than $10 per week on coffee! Ideally, it will get to the point that I can brew all of my own coffee, but realistically, I'm sure I will want the occasional coffee drink while I'm already out.
3. Keep my receipts for everything. Track how my money is spent and where it's going! Starting today, I will keep note of what I spend, including printing receipts for things purchased online.
4. Try to read at least one new book per month. That sounds pathetic, but I haven't been reading enough, and that goal sounds realistic.
5. Work five hours each day Monday through Friday. 25 hours per week will leave me with a decent enough paycheck (for the time being).
6. Make appointments with all of the doctors I need to see (there are a LOT). This is another way of reminding myself to take my health much more seriously this year. My heart, knees, and teeth all need some attention.
7. Take my vegan diet more seriously. I became vegan four years ago for a reason, and I want to start fresh with a new perspective. No more vegan "substitutes" (i.e. baked goods, soy products made to look like meat, cheese, etc). Those are just as unhealthy as their dairy-counterparts.
8. Make more of an effort with my friendships, despite how tired I feel (which really held me back in 2010).
9. TRY to normalize my sleep schedule as much as possible. I will never be an early riser, and I am fine with that. However, waking up at noon is totally unhealthy, and I would like to try to wake up sometime before 12pm daily. Easier said than done when your bedtime is four or 5am.

That's what I have so far, and I'm going to do my best to take those goals seriously. It's going to be very important for me to stop seeing everything in black and white, because that is what always causes me to lose sight of my goals.

Happy 2011?

To be perfectly honest, I don't know if I'm addressing that to anyone, considering that nobody has started reading this blog... yet. KEYWORD "YET."

Anyway, Happy New Year. I am currently trying to sustain my coffee buzz that is rapidly fading; why, oh, why does it happen so quickly?! I'm definitely going to perfect my coffee brewing skills this year, which includes finding the perfect roast. Peet's Italian Roast is "eh" when I brew it, so I am determined to discover a PERFECT roast. I also want to master the art of the French press, because as of this moment those things confuse me terribly. HOW DO THEY WORK?!?

Here's to a year of coffee, travel, being a college graduate at last, and most importantly, seeing my boyfriend as much as possible!