Thursday, January 6, 2011


How is it possible for humans over the age of 13 to have trouble differentiating between your, you're, they're, their, and there? Where on earth were all of these people during... oh, I don't know, EVERY ENGLISH CLASS EVER TAKEN DURING ELEMENTARY AND MIDDLE SCHOOL? And what about "Heather and me went to the party" or "Nobody wanted to talk to Heather and I." Really? You really can't see the difference?

Typos are more understandable; everyone is allowed to type poorly when drunk, so I'll let that slide, because I'll just assume that everybody is drunk all the time. Anyhow, there is a grammar demon clawing at my insides, and I get it from my mother, unfortunately. You should see us watch television; we always comment on poor grammar at the same time. I can hear it from across the room, regardless of whether or not I was paying attention to the program in the first place.

For the love of all that is good and holy, please learn these basic grammatical rules. They are so ridiculously simple, and for the sake of retaining my sanity I refuse to believe that so many people are really that stupid. This is in no way a shout-out to myself for being a genius, as I would likely test at an intelligence level only slightly higher than "complete moron." I'm tired, as it's past 3am, and this is the perfect outlet for the grammar nazi inside of me (plus, I don't want to directly hurt anyone's feelings).

And, uh, please don't be offended if you're one of the dolts to whom I'm referring. I'm sure you're a really nice person with other special talents.


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